A Pokémon Friend
by hanjoh1
Summary: Ash comes across a new pokémon he wouldn't be too sad if he lost. Warning: some swearing.


CRASH Ash heard a loud noise outside his bedroom window. He looked outside to see all of his pokémon not only out of their balls but running around and screaming clearly very upset. Ash flew open his window. "What is going on out here?" "Pika pika pika pika!" Pikachu replied. "What do you mean a 'new pokémon?'" Ash questioned. "Squirtle squirtle squuuirtle." Squirtle said. A new Pokémon? Ash thought. He grabbed his jacket and his ID and ran out the door. When he got outside it was hard to distinguish what was the new pokémon that Squirtle and Pikachu had been talking about. It was an olive green Pokémon about half his size. It looked to be slightly cross-eyed with it lids have closed, nose in the air and it waddled around very awkwardly with its chest puffed out. With a very unpleasant squawk it said "Biiiitchemon." Ash had never seen a pokémon like this and for reasons unknown to him he found himself slightly attracted to it. There was absolutely nothing appealing to it but for some reason it drew him nearer. As pulled out his ID to scan the strange pokémon. "Pokémon located. Pokémon: Bitchemon. A pokémon known for just showing up, making herself comfortable, and never leaving. Special talents: drawing in pokémon trainers everywhere for no reason." "Hmm. Well a pokémon's a pokémon." Ash said as he was pulling out a ball. "Pika pika pika pika pika!" "Pikachu, I'm not just going to leave her out here! Besides, if I want to be the very best I've gotta catch them all!" "Pika pika" Pikachu said sarcastically. "I heard that" Ash replied. Bitchemon waddled over to him and stuck her nose out and sniffed. She then made a very unpleasant looking face and backed away from him. Ash laughed "You're right I do stink. I haven't showered yet! I'll tell you what, you stay here and get to know the rest of the pokémon and I'll go in and shower." Ash said as he got up and left to go to the bathroom. After a nice shower Ash got out and was in his room about to take his towel off when… "BITCHEEEMON!" "Bitchemon! What are you doing here? You can't just be in my room while I'm changing!" He said to the Pokémon sitting in his bed. "Bitchebitchemon bitchemon." She said. "Well anyway you can't be in here, please get out." What a strange pokémon Ash thought as he continued to get dressed. Later that day as it was nearing lunch time and Ash went to the kitchen to get something to eat. He opened the refrigerator and found that all of his carrots, apples, milk cheese, yogurt, prune juice and hot dogs were gone. What on earth? he thought "Pikachu, do you know what happened to all my food?" "Pika pika pika pika" "Don't blame this on Bitchemon" "Pika!" "Fine! Then I'll go ask her myself if you're going to act like this." As ash turned the corner and went into the living room he saw that Pikachu had been telling the truth. Both only that but it seemed to have made the biggest mess possible. Cheese, carrots everywhere, yogurt smeared in the carpet, prune juice staining the furniture. Food. Everywhere. Moms going to be so mad when she gets home he thought. "Bitchemon, what are you doing?! You didn't ask for any of this food!" "Bitchemonbitch" "Well next time please ask and don't such a mess." Ash said, clearly frazzled by what just happened. Bitchemon just squawked and waddled out. "Pika-" "Don't you dare say 'I told you so'" Ash said interrupting a snickering Pikachu. "Pika pika pika pikachu" "I know but I can't deal with Bitchemon anymore! How do we get rid of her?" "Pika pika pika" "Give her away? But no one will want her! If I try giving her to someone else they'll automatically think something is wrong if I don't want her!" "Pika...PIKA! Pika pika pika pika!" "Leave a trail of food all the way to Brock's house?" What a great idea!" And with that Ash and Pikachu were making arrangements for their plan to get rid of Bitchemon. Later that night when it was starting to get dark Ash and Pikachu were putting their plan into action. Ash went out and was making a trail of wheat thins all the way to Brock's house while Pikachu kept Bitchemon distracted. Once Ash was back he called Pikachu and Bitchemon outside to the porch. "Okay guys this is really important! I lost a bracelet I got for my mom and I think it's in the grass. Can you guys help me find it?!" Ash asked. "Pika!" "Bitchemon!" They both replied at the same time. After about ten minutes of "looking for the lost bracelet" Ash looked around and realized he couldn't see Bitchemon anywhere. "Bitchemon!" He called "Bitchemon?" No where. He and Pikachu exchanged a look of triumph. For good measure he called out one more time "Bitchemon!" Nothing. He and Pikachu has successfully gotten rid of Bitchemon! "Nice work Pikachu!" He said with a yawn. "Now let's go get to bed." "Pika pika" the pokémon said sleepily. The next morning Ash woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. "Hello?" He said with a groggy morning voice. "Ash! You'll never believe the pokémon I just caught!" Ash snickered listening to Brock talk about the pokémon he just got rid of himself. 


End file.
